


No voice, new eye but under the scars the same soul

by JAKishu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean stops hunting, Depression, Health Issues, Hellhounds, Hiding, Hunter Dean, Hurt Dean, John is a bad father, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mute Dean Winchester, Near Death, Sam in college, Scars, Shame, Teenager Dean, Witch Castiel, hellhound eye, witch craft shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:52:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21563359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAKishu/pseuds/JAKishu
Summary: Nearly killed by a hellhound Dean Winchester, 16 year old hunter, is saved by a witch. A witch that invites him to his home, takes care of him and offers him a place to stay after Dean learns he can´t return home. His father would kill him.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 28
Kudos: 246





	1. The soul of a fighter

Dean is running. He is running faster than ever before in his young life, a life that will end before he hits his sixteenths birthday. How could his father not predicted the outcome of this hunt? Even him, a hunter in training, as his father likes to call him, notice that there had to be more than one hellhound in the city. To be fair he hadn’t thought that it would be seven but that´s not the topic right now.

His legs are getting heavier and the distance between him and his father in front of him is getting bigger. The air in his lungs is burning and with every step he could hear the monster come closer. He couldn’t see them anymore. The glasses with the holy oil were lost somewhere behind them. He should have stayed at the motel with Sam, watching cartoons or pretending to be annoyed that their father hadn’t taken him on the hunt.

Under his feet is the soft ground of the forest, pieces of timber are breaking under his steps and suddenly he loses his footing. The burning air in his lungs is pushed out of his body as he hit the ground; his hands are hurting from the soil as he had tried to stop his fall. For a second, only a second the world stood still. Dean was on the ground, his father in front of him, many meters away and behind him, the sulphur breathing monsters.

“Dad.” Dean tries to shout but only whisper exit his mouth but his father must heard him fall because he turned around and stops. In this moment Dean saw something in his father´s eyes he would never forget. The moment was over as the piercing claws of one of the hellhounds dig themselves into his side and turn him around. Away from his father who had start to run again, letting him behind. Dean had seen it, his father had given up on him before the monster had reached him but it doesn’t matter anymore because he was already dead.

The second hellhound let his claw fly over the left side of his face, the light in his eye disappeared and the last thing Dean noticed is that he couldn’t breathe anymore. The beast had torn up most of his neck and part of his chest. Blood came out of Dean´s mouth with the last bit of air and his world disappears.

* * *

Castiel loves the night, especially the nights of new moon. The night belonged to the stars and that means he could find a very special flower he needs for a potion. This nightly walks to collect herbs that wouldn’t grow in his private garden are one of his favourite activities. If someone had told him that as he was young he had laughed at the person but after several hundred years you get older and wiser and the life as a witch gives you new perspectives of the world. 

Although tonight is the forest filled with a strange vibe, a sickening feeling was in the air and the trees are frightened by something. This something was unnatural, something that shouldn’t be here. There was another thing, it was like the voice of a small bird, too weak to call out louder but it still was there. Castiel had always own the ability to hear voices that can´t hear by no one else. Mostly the voices of plants but occasionally the one of small animals but this voice, he wasn’t sure but it sounds like a human. A human soul that is calling for help.

No it´s calling out for him!

Without hesitation Castiel follows the voice deeper into the wood, the smell of sulphur and blood reaches his nose. Hellhounds, he hates them. The one calling out must be close to the beast. He pulls out of his bag one of his hexbags as he sees the hounds mounding over something lying motionless on the ground and throws the bag right in the middle of the pack. A bright light appears. It´s filled with a bit of angel grace in powder-form together with other parts of the dark side´s enemies. The monsters getting burned and with their tails between their legs, they run away. All except the one directly hit with the hexbag-bomb he had created years ago, it lays dead on the ground with a basketball sizes hole in his body. No one can say something about protecting himself with his magic.

Castiel runs the remaining meters to the figure on the ground next to the dead hellhound. The acid smell of rotting flesh hits him but as he sees the human the smell is forgotten. A boy, still a child, half of his face was torn off but worse was the condition of the upper body and there is barely a spark of life left. The voice in his head is getting weaker with every second.

He knees down and lays his hand on top of the boy´s forehead and chest (what was felt of it). A little magic trick his brother had taught him to stop the time for a single object. In this case is the object the dying body of a child but the spell doesn’t care what it freezes. After that was done Castiel starts to fix up the boy´s body, starting with the heavy bleeding arteries at his neck and the chest wound. Healing magic wasn’t his strong point and if the boy should survive there will be heavy scar tissue for sure. With his sewing magic and the herbs that can close wounds with a protected layer to give them more time to heal Castiel managed to fix up the upper body and the face but the eye of the child was lost as is the whole vocal core. The windpipe could only be fixed up by using the remaining parts of it.

The witch sighs and looks down on his work, he still looked like Frankenstein´s monster but there was nothing he could do about the neck without risking the respiration apparat of the boy. Castiel turns around to the dead body of the hellhound, a red glowing eyes is looking at him. The beast is dead but it´s eyes were still looking. An idea appears in his mind, with a fast slide of his knife Castiel cuts out the eye and implants it into the boys empty eye socket. Should it work, the boy will be able to see again on this eye.

Deciding that nothing more can be done Castiel gets his stuff ready and lifts the boy up into his arms, the freezing spell had stopped a few minutes ago and the boy was still breathing to Castiel´s joy was the voice in his head back. The words are mumbled and he couldn’t understand him but it was still there and that was enough. The pain medication, with a heavy sleeping spell are holding the boy in his unconscious state. At home he would try to heal the wounds more as making sure he would first wake up when he isn’t going insane by pain.

The body he is carrying was far too light and as soon as the boy wakes up he would start feeding him up. If he wakes up, Castiel remains himself. The darkness of the night starts to fade and twilight fills the world with the first light of the day. The witch with his light cargo is walking through the forest.


	2. See the world with a new eye

Dean´s world is red, he has learned that red is the colour of pain and he had felt it the last time he was conscious enough to be aware. One question appears in his mind and that is a miracle itself, how can someone who is dead have questions and most importantly feel pain. It is not like he is in constant pain, it appears suddenly as if what keeps the pain away would go away. The pain is also the only thing that pulls him closer to a place the teenager isn’t sure he is ready to go to, but the decision is taking from him when the warm blanket of painless sleep appears again and the soft voice tells him to go back to sleep again.

Sleep? Sleep is something living people do, but he died, right? Dean remembers the pain, the teeth and claws of the monsters. He remembers John who turned on him and lost every chance to be called Dad by his first born ever again. The thought of his father brings new pain a different kind of pain, pain the soft voice can´t take away and it seems as if this voice could hear him. Maybe he talks in his sleep but whatever it is the soft blanket of painless sleep is slowly lifted and Dean starts to gain conscious again.

The first of his sense that starts working again is his sense of smell. Some he recognizes, different flowers and herbs, mostly the smell of wood and old books, tea and the smell of home made meals. The next sense was his hearing. There was a constant humming of someone taking, singing and mumbling. Some of these words are directed towards him but some were definitive for someone else´s ears but Dean couldn’t feel another person in the room except the one he could hear. Before his eyes could open his sense of touch came back. The hunter could feel a soft blanket on top of him, a mattress that was definitive not one of any motel room he had ever slept in, he was wearing clothes that doesn’t belong to him and some parts of his body were wrapped up. His brain needed longer to understand what it means, wrappings for his injuries that the hellhound inflected on him.

This is the thought that finally pulls Dean out of his sleep. His eyes open and find himself in an unknown room. The window at the other end of it was covered with curtains but between the fabric Dean could see a few rays of sunshine. Thankful for the semi-dark room he turns his head, his eyes still busy getting used to being open search the room for clues where he is and for the other person that had to be here before.

_“Hello?”_

First Dean thought that no one heard him but a door behind his head, he hadn’t notice before opened and a man with dark hair enters his room. The man looked surprised that he is awake and the light that comes through the door Dean is able to see the blue eyes of this company. “Oh good, you are awake.” A smile appears on the man’s face.

 _“Who are you?”_ Dean asks, he isn’t sure about the function of his ears. He could hear the man just fine but his own voice was lost to his hearing.

“My name is Castiel, I´m the one that saved you from that beast that tried to eat you. I was nearly too late.” The man´s, Castiel´s eyes are suddenly filled with sorrow. Dean would later learn why this saviour felt that way but right now where more important things to do. First of all how he ended up here and where here is and what exactly happened. All this thoughts appear in his mind and he tries to find the most pressing question to get the answer first.

 _“How long am I here?”_ Dean decided that this was the most important one. How long had he left Sammy alone with John-

Castiel takes a seat in the chair next to Dean´s bed. “You have been here nearly four weeks and to answer your other questions I heard you call out as the hellhounds had attacked you. I was able to kill one and chase the others away. Before you question this I am a witch and from what I have seen I would say you are a hunter, an awfully young one but still a hunter. Anyway I stopped the time around your body and got enough time to fix you up so you would not die. I took you home and try to heal you as best as I can. My abilities in the healing department aren’t that good so I mostly kept the pain away to give your body the time it needs to fix itself. Oh and here is the city next to the wood you had your unfortunate meeting with the hounds.” Dean had listened to every word. First he thought it strange that someone was talking about hellhounds as if that was a normal thing than is he apparently in company of a witch, a strange and good looking one, but still a witch and it seems as if he owes the man his life.

Tired already form the talk, where he had mostly listen to his eyes begin to close again. “I know that is a lot, sleep. I will be watching over you.”

 _“That´s creepy.”_ Dean mumbles already half asleep.

“Yeah, but you sleep better with someone next to your.” Cas´s voice is just a whisper but it leads Dean to a dreamless and restful sleep.

* * *

Castiel watches the boy sleep, like he had done for the last weeks after he had notice that the presence of another person smoothes the nightmare ridden soul of his charge. It seems that the young hunter doesn’t notice the way they are communicating but Castiel doubt that this is the most pressing matter in the teenagers mind. “Sleep tight Dean.” Cas whispers as he lifts his latest book and starts to read at the marked page. Many hours had been spent like this. More often than not the witch would read out loud to let Dean hear his voice but for now he let his patient slip in a deeper sleep before he let the author´s word fill the room.

* * *

The next time Dean wakes up his mind is much clearer and he can focus better on his surroundings. In the chair next to him sits the witch, Castiel he remains himself. He is sleeping in a position that can´t be comfortale. Dean looked at the man, the one that saved him and not left him behind like John. The ever growing anger against this man was filling his body with hatred and adrenalin, something his weakened body can’t really use right now. It is strange that a witch would save a hunter, enemies as far as Dean had learned in his short life.

Castiel, also a strange name, he might just call him … Cas, yes that sounds better. He hopes that this is ok. “You can call me Cas if you prefer, it is also a name my brother uses, as others when he feels especially funny.” Surprised Dean looked up and meets Cas´s eyes. He hadn’t notice that his host woke up but he is really sure he hadn’t voiced his thoughts about Cas´s name.

A sad smile appears on the witches lips. “Dean, you might have not notice it until now but you … you can´t talk with your voice anymore.” It takes a second to let the words sink in. Dean opens his mouth to disagree to say something, anything. Shout, scream but there is nothing no tune left his lips, a silent room is all that is left. Dean feels like he can´t breathe anymore. How can his voice disappear. His finger touch thick white cotton wrappings round his neck and upper body and he looks back to Cas for an answer.

 _“What happened.”_ Of course Dean knows the answer to it. He knows about the hellhound about the injuries he had suffered from that Cas has done his best to heal him but still what happened to him.

“I´m sorry Dean but I needed to use part of your vocal core to fix up your windpipe. I decided that your life is more important than your voice. I´m sorry I couldn’t fix all of it.” Dean stopped in his growing panic and looked at Cas, he sees guild and worry, there is doubt in the only right choice to save his life and suddenly he feels bad for the witch who had done everything to keep him alive. He really would like to thank him, the say that it was the right choice and that he was glad that Cas did what he did to keep him in this world but how can he say this without his voice.

“Thanks.” Surprised Dean stopped his thought and focus again on Cas.

 _“For what?”_ Dean wants to say.

“For saying that to me. Thanking me and saying I did the right thing. It makes me breathe a bit easier.”

 _“How?”_ Confused Dean waits for an answer to a question he can´t even voice probably in his head.

“Oh I forgot to mention. I can hear you thoughts. Wait that sounds incorrect. I can hear the voice of your soul.” Dean makes a face. “You are right that doesn’t sound better but it´s true. I could always hear plants and sometimes animals. You are the first human I can hear and your voice is clear and loud, no whisper as I am used to. That´s the only reason I found you. Your soul called out to me.” Cas smiles at Dean.

That explains a lot and it means that at least someone can hear him and somehow that is all he needs to know right know.

* * *

In the following week Dean slowly starts to get back on his feet, quiet literally. First with nearly 100 % support from Cas until he was able to walk on his own to the bathroom. Cas is still next to him, every time, in case he doesn’t make it. Dean also starts to eat and drink again. After questioning how all of this very important bodily function were cared for that weeks before Cas just said he used a bit of magic.

The first time Dean saw his face and body in the mirror was still a shock. It´s one thing to hear someone tell you that they fixed you up after a hellhound used you as a chew toy the other is to see a red eye staring back at him with stars barely healed up covering his face and upper body. Frankenstain´s monster looked like some male model compare to him. His first reaction was to lock himself into the bathroom. How could someone even look at him. Dean would probably had stayed their without Cas constant stream of comforting words from the other side of the door. It was only as the apologizes started and Cas´s voice sounded as if he was close to tears that Dean unlocked the door and let himself be let back to the bed.

He still asks Cas to cover up the mirror, he doesn’t want to see his face, especially the red eye of his enemy. His appearances lead Dean also to the conclusion that returning to the ´normal´ world was out of question but Cas didn’t mind having him here so Dean stays. Unsure how his life will continue, everything he had known was gone. He couldn’t go out, no hunting his family thinks he is dead and Dean also learned that not all witches are evil. The black and white world his father had taught him was a lie.

* * *

The passing time let Dean´s wounds heal completely; the scars that already appear like white lines on his skin are now his constant companion. He doesn’t mind it all the time. When it is only Cas and him he often forgets that he doesn’t look like before. When he is alone in his room his thought return to his appearance, to his new life and the uncertain future.

Cas had started to teach Dean how to focus his mind that the witch only hears what Dean want´s to share after a heated argument as Dean was in one of his darker moods. The reason for the argument was simple at least when you ask Dean. He was in his room while Cas was downstairs in the shop he owns. Which was closed for the majority of Dean´s healing process. Anyway Dean was upset that he couldn’t go out like this and no hoody, scarf and sunglasses could cover it up completely. Cas heard his inner trouble, came running up and tried to smooth him. Nothing Dean appreciates in his mood. After a very one sided shouting match (Dean´s thoughts screaming at a silent Cas) which contained phrases like no privacy, being coddled and that Cas would neglect his work for him, the witch offered him some training and promised to look for a new way to get rid of the scars to offer Dean more freedom with the promise not to overreact when he hears something that he can be sure isn’t meant for him.

Dean still sees a monster every time he finds a way to look into a reflection on a surface but the thought of Sam let him wish sometimes he could go back but then he sees his father’s back turned on him when he had needed him the most and ever spark of hope for his past life dies.

There is the one question that pops up every once in a while when Dean let´s his thoughts wander off, his future. He knows Cas is worried, the witch tries to talk to him, offers him to come downstairs, help out in the shop. He doesn’t have many customers and if he wants to he can hide in the back room. He could work mostly in this room anyway so he wouldn’t get bored but Dean isn’t ready to face the world behind the closed door that leads to a stair case that connects the living area with the shop. He isn’t ready and not sure if he ever will be. There has to be something that is worth stepping out of this place to get him to leave.

* * *

It had been a long time since he did it but he has to know. Dean is looking into a mirror and all he can see is a monster. The white scar that reaches from his forehead to his neck and disappears under the edge of his hoody. He knows it looks much worse under the fabric but that doesn’t make it better. The worst isn’t even the scars on his body, the red glowing eye is the worst. It is working no question asked but it gives him even more the appearance of a monster and Dean hates it.

Disappointed he ties the scarf around his neck again and ignores the mirror like he did the last months after he had first taken a glimpse at himself. He could see Cas standing in the door, watching him and there was a bit of guilt in those blue eyes.

They had the topic before but it doesn’t seem to sink into the thick skull of his witch. Dean doesn’t blame his saviour for his appearance, he is actually really grateful because he never wanted to die. The thing is he had become what he was trained to hunt and kill. Now living under the roof of a witch, Dean Winchester had changed sides at least that would be what his father would say.

His heart pulled hart together, like every time he thought about John. The man had died in his eyes. Not only taking his child to a dangerous hunt, not only using him as bait but also letting him behind to be eaten and killed. Dean hates this man and the only two reasons why he hadn’t left this house to kill John Winchester are his appearance and Sam.

"Dean?" Cas pulls him out of his mind like so many times before when his thoughts was slipping into a dangerous area. Their eyes meet and Dean waits for what was bond to follow. "You don’t have to stay here upstairs, all alone. If you don’t want to leave the house that’s alright but how about you come with me into my shop. I’m lonely because of the few customers I have, you could help me with the books and the potions. And if you don’t want to be seen, there is a back room you can hide." Cas offer had slowly turned into pleading during the last weeks where he tried to bait him, threaten, and ignored him. Now they were back with begging and compromising. But why should a monster like him leave? Wasn’t it enough that Cas had to see him every day?

The look in these beautiful eyes told him, no. It wasn’t fair and Dean is aware that he only hurt the only person who could still hear him. Defeated Dean nods before he turns around lifts the hoody over his head, pulls up the scarf and puts on his sun glasses. He is aware that only doughbags wear them inside but when he had to choose between doughbag and monster it has to be the doughbag.


	3. A silent voice learns to speak again

Years pass but in the security and hominess of Cas´s home and shop Dean doesn’t mind. Surprisingly he is more relaxed and he would say even happier than ever before in his life. He knows this house belongs to someone else but in his mind he calls it home. It is also really easy to life with Cas, the dorky witch has fascinating hobbies, like keeping bees on his roof top and has knowledge a library could be filled with.

A few month after Dean´s first time outside the living area Cas told him that he is older than he looked. Dean had questioned where the witch got all the old books and remembers how is uncle Bobby told him how hard it could get to even find one of them. Cas told him that he bought most of them himself as they were published. To prove his story Dean was shown a few old photographs of Cas, with other people. He liked the one in front of an unfinished Eifel tower the most. The other man in the picture, apparently his older brother Gabe, also a witch, lived in Paris at this time. The reason why Dean likes this picture is because Cas looks more carefree than he had ever seen him.

After the first few days Dean hadn’t mind helping out in the shop, a shop which provides books to all supernatural and ´normal´ topics, most of them aimed for witches (white witches, big difference to black witches, who Dean and others tent to hung) as herbs, flowers and any other kind of plant used in potions. They had also a giant collection on other ingredients, once Dean had to find a jar with left small toes from single female otter widows. He hadn’t asked what spell would need this kind of ingredient and put the jar back into the dark shelf he had found it next to the desert bunny tears and the bone marrow of elefants.

The room where Dean was most times working in, the back room, as Cas calls it was more like a giant storage container. It wasn’t even done with one floor. Somehow Cas had a four floor deep underground storage for everything that doesn’t fit into his store. Like his witch had promised was Dean able to help out without being seen by collecting ingredients and mixing potions for the customers. With only Cas around Dean is often working up front just to be closer to the witch but he wasn’t comfortable with other people seeing him. Cas is able to let him forget, let him be just him without any expectation, like John always had in him. Dean is the first time in his life free even when his world has borders and would be considered small. He loves is and is happy with what he got, with what Cas gives him. Dean also knows the witch would give him so much more but nothing the ex-hunter is willing to take.

Early on Dean discovered that his new eye, the red ugly looking hellhound eye gave him an interesting look into the world beyond what is known to him and every other human. He could see auras and learned to read them. He could see creatures that were invisible for him before, like fairies. It was very fascinating but it didn’t let him like the eye. Sometimes he uses it to watch people outside the shop, read them, and he knows Cas is watching him but he had already accepted that the witch felt better when he knows what Dean is doing.

Sometimes being watches is the best feeling someone can have. Before Dean had met Cas, he would have called it creepy but since then a lot had happened and he find it comforting especially when he cooks. As soon as Dean had feld better he had taken over the kitchen, not that the witch was a bad cook … okay yes a human being can only survive on PB&J Sandwiches so long without going crazy. Cas loves his burgers so Dean makes them at least once a week. Cas is the one going shopping so Dean puts a lot of ingredients he needs on the list, often new ones because he has a guinea pig at home to try out all the recipes he always wanted to. With a real kitchen and a food batched that would let him starve Dean had finally all the possibilities to do so. Best is Cas lets him.

Another thing they both share is reading. Dean had never been a big fan of books, more out of the situation then really everything else. There was no time for fun reading, it was research in old books or newspapers for a case, also there was no money, why bother. But Cas bothers, he started reading to Dean, as the ex-hunter was still bond to his bed and they continue this habit after a long day in the shop. Sitting together on the couch, cuddling up, wrapped in blankets Dean would search out the closeness and Cas would start reading where they had stopped the day before. Dean had never notice how touch starved he was only the opportunity to have it showed him that he needed it.

His new life is different, very but he loves it and even with the limited space he feels comfortable moving in he is free and loves it. Not only his life and the new home but slowly he is falling for his saviour, for this nerdy little witch that showed him a life he had never known.

* * *

“Cas, hey, earth to Cas.” The witch lifts his head suddenly as if Charlie´s voice had pulled him out of some kind of trance. “Where are you with your thoughts today?”

“Hallo Charlie, I haven’t notice you coming in. What can I do for you?” Cas walks around the book shelf he had stopped as he started to listen to Dean´s silent humming song that travelled up through the floor from the basement. It still fascinates him how far he can hear him.

“You were dreaming again, has a certain flatmate something to do with it?” Charlie poked him with her elbow. She is one of the only friends Cas had let into his life, except of Dean of course. He talks to her and told her about him a long time ago. She wants to meet Dean but like always Dean isn’t ready to even think about it. He had told Charlie, Dean´s answer and even let on a bit of the reason, she was still unhappy about it and tries to peak in the back room every time she knows Dean is in the back.

“Not really I was just listening to a song in my head?” The small smile on his face told her everything she needs to know. Charlie is one of the few people who knows what Cas is and about his ability. She also believed him without a second thought as he told her.

“A song Dean was singing? Come on man, let me meet him, you can´t just hide the guy in the back for years and don’t expect me to be curious. Please, you know I´m nice, I won’t make him feel weird.” The pleading puppy eyes head never succeeded and they won’t do it now. Cas respects Dean´s wish and waits for him to be ready.

Just as Cas wants to response he here the sound of an opening door behind him. The door to the back room, where the connection to the basement is, where Dean works. He turns around and sees Dean standing in the door unsure what to do next. Nothing in their last conversation about meeting other people had indicated that Dean was more ready then before to face someone that isn’t the witch.

Dean is wearing his hoody, sunglasses and a scarf but he stands there in front of another person, waiting that something happens. Cas feels a warmth in his heart because he knows the only reason why Dean came out is him. Both Charlie and Dean watch each other and Dean lifts one of his hands in a awkward little wave to say hello.

On Charlie´s face explode a smile that would make the sun concurrence she jumps into the air, runs over to the shock frozen ex-hunter and hugs him. With a light punch on the shoulder they separate. “Finally, its time. Nice to meet you. I already know we will become best friends.” Charlie smiles at him and somehow that offers Dean the time to collect himself, to move again Cas can feel it.

 _“Tell her Hi and say nice to meet you from me.”_ Dean asks in Cas head, the witch smiles yes Dean is finally ready a first step, a big one.

“Charlie, Dean says hi and nice to meet you.” Charlie´s eyes switch between Cas and Dean.

“Oh no that not working, I won´t accept you as a translator.” Her eyes focus on Dean again. “Dean we are going to start studying sign language. We will learn it together so we can talk to each other without problems.” She is harsh and will strong and both men doubt any of their arguments would change her mind. Cas just lifts his arms in a gesture of helplessness and Dean nods to accept idea.

To their surprise Charlie opens her back and pulls out a tablet. “I already started and put some apps on it so we can start right now. I don’t want to wait.” She takes Dean´s hand and pulls him into the reading corner of the shop with fluffy cushions and a comfortable sofa. Cas just smiles and watches them. Charlie seems very eager to start but he isn’t surprised about it. It doesn’t seem like it but she is lonely too, sometimes she doesn’t have many friends because of her personality. Some people are just can’t keep up with her fast mind and her intellect, neither can Cas but he is not put off of her, they just fit and it seems as if Dean fits the same way.

They are all different on their own. Later on the afternoon as Cas is on the way to lock up he finds Dean and Charlie on the sofa, notice book abandon on the sofa and talking with a basic sign language for each letter of the alphabet. Smiling Cas notice that Dean had pull done his hoody and abdomen his scarf, only the sunglasses is still in place.

A very big step indeed.


	4. Scars are for the living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got it ready before Christmas ^^

The alarm clock starts and before the first tune can finish Sam presses the off button; he is already awake, since a few hours, thinking. It´s one of these nights where his mind can´t shut up and prevents any form of rest or sleep. Sighing he gets up and enters the bathroom he and three of his collage friends are sharing. The other three are still asleep not even the screaming sound of the alarm could have changed it, something Sam is very thankful for.

The light in the bathroom is harsh and hurts Sam´s tired eyes, he should have stayed at home, in his dorm room, with his books, the essay he still has to finish and his coffee maker but he had to go on this social field trip thingy. Sam splashes water into his face and after sensing that this would help he enters the shower and changes the temperature to freezing. Whoever comes after him is hopefully awake enough to change it back.

After the shower he can here the first movements in the room, his friends seem to have waken up but Sam wasn’t ready to leave the solitude of the bathroom, not jet. Today is the worse day of the year and like all the years before he had preferred to hide in his room and not talking to anyone. Today is the anniversary of his brother’s death and like every year he curses his father for causing the loss of his only sibling. Sam hates his father, he had probably started to resent him long before the night as he arrived back at the motel room without Dean, without much of an explanation other than he is dean, go pack your stuff however from this moment on was the man dead in his eyes. It took Sam a few years but the first change he got he left John and never looked back. The only thing that had kept them together was Dean and without his big brother it was just not working. Still this day in the calendar makes him every year remember the last time he saw his brother´s smile, felt his brother´s hand as he ruffles through his hair as a good bye and the last time he could hear Dean promising him everything will be alright. Sam never really figured out what had happened. He knows John had hunted a rough hellhound but he never told him how Dean found his death.

A knock on the bathroom door pulls Sam out of his dark thoughts. “Princess are you coming out their sometime or do we have to use your bed as a toilet.” That was Brian. Sam rolls his eyes, checks his face a last time in the mirror and leaves the bathroom, today they would do a bit sightseeing in this little town they had found with a fascinating history and many “supernatural” sightings. Sam doubts anything in this town is supernatural but it´s a good concept to get tourists into town, helps the shop owners and honestly maybe it´s not a bad idea to go out to do something that isn’t related to the death of his big brother.

* * *

“What are you reading?” Cas looks over Dean´s shoulder, he sits at the window and watches the people outside between reading.

 _“Just a book Charlie brought over. Harry Potter, it´s about a wizard who goes into a school.”_ Cas lifts his eyebrows rise. _“I know the same book you wanted me to read half a year ago but she has this … force in her eyes that make you do things like this just because she asks you to do it. All she wants to do is talk with me about it.”_ A light blush covers Dean´s cheeks; Cas thinks he is adorable but would never tell him that.

“You can read whatever you want.” Cas kisses Dean on the overheated cheek and returns to his work. This is another of the new developments. They both found out that they have feelings for each other or better said, Dean´s mind-wall wasn’t as good as he liked to be and his thought had told Cas enough to let him confess his own feelings for Dean. After a heated kiss on that day they laugh about their silliness, they could have that since a long time. They take it slow, Dean is only 21 and with the years Cas has already lived they have a lot of catching up to do. There is also the topic of his not aging immortality. The witch tried to explain it to dean how it works but Dean just calls it immortality, he can die, he just doesn’t age, soon he has to make the spell for Dean as well, if he is willing or Cas will have to watch how his lover grows old and die someday.

The sudden sound of a chair hitting the flour let Cas turn around. Book abdomen, chair on the floor and the door on its way to close, Dean had ran out into the street. To shocked to follow or even think what it means Cas stands their only able to wait for Dean to return to their save haven.

* * *

Dean follows Cas with his eyes before he returns to his book, he likes the story and he will ask Charlie for the second book as soon as he finished this. Later he would never be able to name a reason why he looked up and out of the window. He always feels save in the shop, from the outside can no one see him and the few customers that enter are as strange looking as him some times. He still wears his sunglasses most of the time but he doesn’t feel the necessarily to cover himself up with layers of fabric to hide scars that shoe that he survived. However what Dean sees as he looks out of the window let his heart stop and his breathing freeze. Outside is a group of young people, four and one of them is Sam.

Dean is suddenly five years back in the past where he sees his little brother sitting on the motel room bed, waving good bye. Without thinking Dean jumps up, runs out of the door (for the first time since Cas had brought him here) and stops the young man by pulling at his shirt.

The young man turns around and Dean breaths out in relieve, there in front of him is Sam, his little brother with his brown eyes, the hair that got longer and he got tall, Dean has to look up at him. He wants to hug his brother, wants to tell him how much he had missed him but there are no words in his mouth that would be released for Sam to hear. Suddenly aware of his appearance, without his sunglasses and the hoody Dean notice the stare of the other people around Sam and let the shirt that he still holds between his fingers fall. Slowly he backs away, how can he pull Sam back into his crazy world. The kids around him are clearly college students as Sam, he got out and now Dean pulls him back. With a last look back, Dean turns around and runs back to the safty of his home with Cas, where the witch can protect him from this world where people look at him like a monster and where some is able to hear his voice.

The door is open for him and Dean can burrow himself in Cas´ strong body. The witch had waited for him and offers comfort, something Dean desperately needs.

* * *

Sam felt the pull on his arm and was confronted with a man only a few years older than him but his appearance was horrifying. The visible parts of his upper body, neck and face were covered in white scars; a green and a red eye stare at him. The man´s mouth moves but no sound leaves it. And suddenly the man runs away but Sam had seen enough, had recognized the green eye of his long lost brother.

Without stopping at the questions of his friends Sam told them to go ahead, he followed the man with one of Dean´s eyes into a shop they hadn’t even notice as they pass by it before. Taking all the courage he can find in himself Sam pushes the door open and finds the back of the man that had stopped him as another man standing in the shop entry. The other man has dark hair and the bluest eyes he had ever seen and the Dean look-alike tense up in his arms.

“Dean?” Sam finally found his voice again after it had failed him before. The blue eyed man turns the other around and on a second look Sam is sure that is his brother, older and with scars but still his big brother who had promise that everything will be alright.

“You must be Sam, my name is Castiel, I´m the owner of this shop and live with Dean together.” Sam´s eye leave for a second Dean´s face to look at the other man before they return to his brother but the man, Castiel continues to talk. “Dean is unable to talk like that so I will be a translator for your conversation.” Castiel offers but to the shop owners surprise Sam lifts his hand and starts to sign.

´Are you ok?´ His hands are unsure, he hadn’t used sign language in several month after taking courses for a few semesters.

Dean hesitates only for a few seconds before he answers in fast movements. ´I´m alright, Cas saved me and … Sam where is dad?´ Sam sees the hesitation and knows exactly why he asks.

´Not here I felt him as soon as I could, got early into collage on a scholarship, did he do that to you?´ Sam points at Dean´s neck where the worst scar is visible.

Dean shakes his head. ´No, the hellhounds but he left me behind, he left me to die. Without Cas, I would be dead.´ Sam had been right all these years to blame their father. Something else appears in his head. A small voice that sounds suspiciously like John tells him to look around spots the monster. Sam´s eyes land for a second on the book shelfs, he can see through an open door into the back where hundreds of jaws are stored, he sees the scars of his brother´s wound and knows they should have killed him. Everything screams at him SUPERNATURAL, that the man that is holding on to his brother is something not human, but he had saved Dean and even when the man is really what Sam think he is, he had long learned that the black and white world of John Winchester was a lie.

“Thank you for saving my brother.” Sam says honestly and offers his attention for the first time the other man.

* * *

Dean is still trembling in his arms but since his brother had started to talk to him a new found calm grows in the young man´s body. Cas hadn’t known that John, Dean´s father had left him behind, Dean had never offed this information for him and he could understand why it had taken his brother to open this dark chapter of his past Cas could see the moment when Sam reached the awareness of his true being and also as the information was put way as unnecessary. The young man must have learned one or two things that didn’t come from his father, the hunter. Relieved and finally able to relax which let Dean also be more relaxed Cas offers Sam to stay for dinner.

The three of them had a nice evening, Sam told them a bit about college and Dean and Cas offer some intormation about their life, the shop, their relationship (which Sam very much support, not like one homophobic father would), their living together and their future, a future that wouldn’t be much of a difference to what they have right now. Living together, sharing their life and living. Something, Dean offers hesitating he never had before.

Sam understands and after the promise to stay in contact, phone numbers were exchanged and Sam returns back to his normal life with a much lighter soul and a bursting flame of happiness inside of his heart for finding his brother again. A brother who supports his plan to become a lawer, a brother who had finally found love and a brother who still loved him. Maybe now he can enjoy the life of a college student.

* * *

 _“Are you happy?”_ Dean asks as they said their good bye to Sam.

“Yes Dean, you make me very happy. You are the voice in the dark, the one that doesn’t leave.” And with that Cas closes the distance between their lips, they are happy and very lucky that they had met, not only that but also finding a family member Dean loves and is loved back in return. They already planning to have Sam over on his next break so the younger man doesn’t have to be lonely at the campus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas all of you.


	5. A life fighting for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a bit longer for the last one, writers block, no time and I don´t know but here is it, enjoy.

Dean´s life is perfect, for the first time he has a friend, got his long lost brother back and has an awesome boyfriend. It couldn’t be better, one of the most magical moments were their first time. Dean hadn’t known that someone can show so much love and affection for another person in a simple act, like a kiss or the touch of his hands. He had many of his first with Cas. The first time going out for a walk, having a date, his first time watching a movie in the cinema, driving a car legally (Cas made him do his driving test), his first time eating in a restaurant everything the two of them do together shines in a new light by just being together.

But sadly like most times in his life before the good doesn’t stay forever, of course Dean should have expected it, or at least he should have thought about the possibility that it could happened but in the end he had a life now. A good one, where good things happen, where your spend time together with people you like and they like you in return. A life to get soft as some would say. Dean just didn’t think that John Winchester would choose his little paradise for a hunt.

* * *

The door of the Impala closes and John Winchester starts to walk over to the reception to book a room in the motel at the town´s edge. A good space for a motel but it doesn’t really matter. There is no great difference between motels in his price range, most of them offer the same basics, some have more questionable hygiene but in the end he just needs a bed to crush on and a table to do research.

What brought him to this town wasn’t even a dead person like it is usually the case. This time it is a rumour about a shop that offers you everything you need to for spells, hex bags, summering’s or other magical rituals. A shop owned by a witch, at least he suspects that the owner is a witch. No real name on the documents or at least no birth certificate to the name written on it. He had a bit of a low run the last month, more bad luck than anything and he hopes a bit of luck via a spell or a charm and a dead witch on top of it would bring him back to his old high.

Hunting alone isn’t something John hates but it sure would be nice to have someone with him at least sometimes. After Sam left years ago he had never again found a person to share this life-style. He went to hunts with other hunters, of course but they were rare and fare between. The easiest he had felt with Dean but …- John stopped his thoughts, there was no use thinking about a dead son or for that matter for about the other one that ran off to college as if going to study is more important than saving lives. Both of his sons were disappointments in some way.

The drive over here had been long and John wanted to check out the shop first thing in the morning, without changing his clothes or taking a shower he fell onto the bed, the rest could wait till the morning.

* * *

It is a quiet morning, like many of their days but Dean doesn’t mind, the busy days in the summer with the occasion tourist walking into their shop is over and fall has the city in his hands. Cas told him once that he let these people in (tourist and others) because he wants to share a bit of magic with everyone. He could use a spell to keep everyone out that isn’t a witch but that would also include people like Charlie and that way it was way more fun. Since Dean had started to help out in the front of the shop and most of Castiel´s customers know him already he doesn’t mind the few people who look at him funny. They even had one or two hunters, easy to spot but also very thankful when they help to fight the real monsters. Of course if they had known who would step into their shop this morning, Dean had asked Cas to lock down the whole city to avoid this one person.

Dean is with his back to the door, making heart eyes at Cas as Charlie calls it, as the bell above the door rings to announce a customer. He had work to do but flirting with his partner was still the best at working together.

“Welcome.” Calls Cas out at the new arrival as Dean turns around for a nod and to go back to his work. Still in the movement Dean sees someone he hadn’t thought off in years, not really at least. Frozen in place Dean meets the eyes of a very surprised looking John Winchester. His heart beats loud an fast and all he wants to do is run away and hide but something is stopping him, this small voice in his head that had been disappointed and angry at the man he had once called father, the other voice, the one of a hunter warns him, running would lead to a far worse outcome of this situation.

The biggest problem right now is not Dean´s appearance, no it is the fact that his black and white thinking father would kill him and Cas for just being here in this shop. He would also disapprove about their relationship but being a witch was most likely the more pressing issue and a death sentence for Cas.

* * *

John is looking at a ghost, at least he hopes it is a ghost, otherwise his son is standing right next to a witch. Dean looks different, there are scars all over his face and neck a red and a green eye looking back at him in shock and he feels more than sees the light shift in his sons body that puts him more in front of the shop owner/witch. A protecting movement that tells John enough, first that really is his son, second his son is protecting a witch and finally that he was right about his hunt, here is something to kill.

John fixes his eyes on the witch. “I see you found a human body and played with it witch. Turning the remainings of my son into a monster. One more reason to erase your existence of this earth.”

* * *

To shocked to answer or react is Cas just standing there looking at the man that had let his son for death. He had notice Dean´s behaviour and he could feel the bottled anger and fear but he had needed these words to understand who they are facing. He nearly missed the next words. “I think I will start with the monster you created before I will continue with you, because you will feel the pain.”

Faster than any of them could react appeared a knife in John Winchesters hand and he runs towards a shell-shocked Dean who was still standing on the same spot where they had a lovely conversation about their plans for the next weekend. Cas hadn’t used his magic in a defence way in years, fighting was something he had done centuries ago, where dangerous situations, like criminals, wild animals or the occasion witch hunter forced him to defend himself but right now the magic in his blood started to boil and with only this thought he built an invisible wall between Dean and the knife that the hunter had swing with the intention to kill.

The hunter looks at the witch surprised, it was a long time ago that he had fought with an old witch as this one seems to be but before he could even start another attack he feels something close around his neck. Breathing got harder and he could feel how the ground under his feet left him. Flouting slightly in the air his eyes follow the witch as he steps behind the counter, slowly taking Dean´s hand before stepping in front of him, to shelter him. “You sad, blinded creature. You nearly killed your own son for a second time. All I did was safe him from the monsters you left him with to die, to save your own skin, you disgrace of a human being. Dean isn’t a monster, he survived a trauma you wouldn’t even understand with the small brain you seem to have. I will not let you hurt him in any way ever again. He … We are living together, here is our home and I won´t let you destroy that with your hated and fear. We are not the monsters, you are.” Cas takes one step closer. “Now decide what do you want. I can send you away, without your memories, I can offer you a quick and painless death or you can choose to fight against me and your son but remember we will protect our home. So choose wisely.”

Cas voice was dark and even Dean felt a slight shiver run over his skin. The only thing that letting it keep together had been the soft touch on his hand. Cas is here, he fights for him, for them against a hunter that wants them both dead but still offering a solution without blood because let´s be honest, killing the father of your lover can never be the only solution. Even when said father deserves it and Dean knows the only reason Cas offered the memory erasing thing was for him, not for John or even for the witch himself, just for Dean so he wouldn’t have the blood of his father on his hand. Dean wasn’t sure if he could love this man more but right now his heart was filling with this warm feeling that let Dean forget his nightmares and fall into the arms of the man he will spend the rest of eternity together.

John felt the pressure around his neck but he was sure he still can talk if he has to. The offer he was given is unexceptional except the last one, fighting. Before he could choose steps Dean next to the witch and lays his hand of the other man´s shoulder. Their eyes meet and John had no illusion that they are together. “Are you sure?” The witch asks Dean as if he had said something. The man turns back to face John. “Dean wants you to know that he will forgive you for what you have done to him, for leaving him behind as bait, for letting him die. He is thankful for that in some twisted way because it gave him the opportunity to leave the shitty life with you and finding his home and love. Something you have never given any of your sons. He had chosen for you, you will live with the knowledge that both of your sons are happier without you but you will never be able to find them again and it will be your own fault that you not only lost your wife but also your sons.”

These words will be stuck in John Winchester´s mind as Cas whispers a spell and the hunter sinks down on the floor, unconscious and without the memories of his sons names or faces or locations.

 _“Thank you.”_ Dean says as Cas turns towards him and closes the distance by hugging the younger man to his chest. All the adrenalin was leaving his body and he could feel himself shaking. “ _What are we doing with him?”_

Cas looks down on the sleeping body of the man that had brought Dean pain but also brought them together. “I will call someone who will dump his sorry ass in a different town to be found and taken care of. Sorry I shouldn’t talk like that.” Cas offers a shy smile.

Dean looks at his father for a last time before he locks eyes with his perfect other half. _“I love you, Cas, don’t ever change.”_ Their lips meet and when the shop stayed closed for no reason the rest of the day it wasn’t mention by any of their customers the following day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked the story of Cas and Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be slow due to a lack of time, but I have already started with the second chapter.  
> hope you like the beginning of the story.


End file.
